Day 7 of the Kindness Challenge

Day 7: Fighting Fair

Accountability check: Reflect on how you've handled conflict / withdrawal during the Challenge. Talk to your wife about it (in general language, if you haven't told her you are doing the Challenge).

If you've had a conflict, did you stay in there five more minutes past when you wanted to escape? If so, congratulations! Make note of how you did it. (Important Note: This assumes you are able to control your temper and do not need to escape to avoid saying or doing something hurtful)

Or...

Did you say "Fine, have it your way!" as you walked out of the room? If so:

1. a) Consider: What could you do to help yourself remain engaged?
2. b) Next time, before you walk out of the room reassure her: "We'll figure this out, but I need a break to calm myself down right now."

Coach's corner:

In most cases, hanging in there reassures your wife that you love her unconditionally right when she's at her most vulnerable. So ask your wife (when you aren't arguing) if that means something to her, and discuss how to do that. You'll be more likely to do it if you've already planned for it.

And speaking of withdrawing... did you know that silence and shutting down is one type of negativity? If you haven't yet, be sure to identify your unrecognized negativity triggers. There's a list in Chapter 6. (You might also take the short online Negativity Assessment).

Coach's check-up:

Congratulations! You've made it through the first week. Even if you aren't yet seeing the results, you will! And the most positive change may be the way you feel about yourself after these thirty days. Stick with it! Use #Joinkindness to post how you are feeling about your efforts, and see how others are doing.