Day 4 of The Kindness Challenge

Day 4: Those unseen efforts

Think about all the mundane things that your wife tends to do to keep the household going - paying the bills, managing health insurance, tracking the stacks of school paperwork, or staying on top of the kids' dentist visits and your sister's birthday.

Now ask yourself: Where does your wife probably feel she falls short in your eyes? For example, maybe she decided laundry is one of "her" chores, but she doesn't get to it as frequently as you would like. And you are sometimes grumpy when you find yourself out of 'whites' before the end of the work week. Today, compliment her on her effort to do that chore, and say how grateful you are.

It will bring a smile to her face even if you say something in guy speak. ("If it weren't for you, I'd be going commando every day. You're amazing.)

Coach's corner:

Often in marriage we have defenses up about those areas where we know our spouse disapproves. We build walls. The research found that when you are kind in those specific areas it melts through those walls. (Yes, kindness is a superpower. See Chapter 2 for the other superpowers kindness gives you.)

Coach's checkup:

How are you doing at tackling each of the three Challenge elements each day? Be careful not to think of these daily hints as the Challenge itself. They are simply helpful ideas for daily doing the three elements: listening (or, alternatively, saying nothing negative), saying words of praise and doing an act of generosity.