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Day 18: Thinking on the past
Mention to your person a specific time they did you a favor, or you benefited from their talent. "Remember when I couldn't get the HTML to work for my first newsletter? The only reason I made my deadline was that workaround you sent me. That was the first time I felt like I was part of a team that wanted me to succeed." It's possible your person may respond with sarcasm because they feel awkward being praised publicly. Ignore it and recognize that they are probably privately pleased.
Coach's Corner: Thinking back about good things won't just impact the other person; it prevents the common trap of getting your mindset stuck on today's problems. A 2014 The Atlantic article on John Gottman's research about personal relationships said, "People who are focused on criticizing their partners miss a whopping 50 percent of positive things their partners are doing and they see negativity when it's not there." (See Emily Esfahani Smith, "Masters of Love," The Atlantic, Jun 12, 2014.)
The 30-Day Kindness Challenge is brought to you via our partnership with Shaunti Feldhahn, and is based on her research for The Kindness Challenge.
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