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The 30-Day Kindness Challenge Starts Tomorrow!
All other daily emails are very short. This one, however, will share a few reminders and tips.
What you will do during the Challenge. For 30 days, you will:
1. Say nothing negative/negatively about your spouse—either to them or about them to somebody else. Resist the urge to correct or criticize, ask "but why did/didn't you", get irritated, or vent to your girlfriends at work.
Note: If non-positive feedback is essential, be constructive and encouraging, without a negative tone. For example, instead of "Why didn't you get the Angie's antibiotics prescription on your way home?", say, "Thanks for taking Angie to the doctor. It looks like she needs to start her antibiotics with dinner. How about either getting dinner started while I go get this filled, or you go get it filled and I'll start dinner?") Negative feedback for all non-essential things should be put on hold for 30 days.
2. Every day, find one thing that you can sincerely praise or affirm about your husband and tell him, and tell someone else. ("Doug, I really appreciate you taking the car to get the tires rotated this week. Thanks for always taking care of me.")
3. Every day, do one small act of kindness or generosity for your husband. Offer a neck rub at the end of the day. Do one of the chores that he usually does, or give him space when he needs some downtime. (Even though you do, too!) Get up 10 minutes early to make him a lunch to take to work when you know he has a busy day and needs to eat at his desk.
About the emails
Each day you will receive an email with optional daily hints/ideas for ways to do the Challenge. Customize as appropriate for your situation, or come up with something totally different. (If your husband is a frequent traveler or deployed, find ways to adapt the ideas for contact via email and phone, or generate ideas with other wives in your situation.)
Regardless, remember: the daily tips and hints are just ideas, so don't get stuck on them! The Challenge is to do the three elements each day, whether or not you do the specific idea of the day.
Success Strategies
- Use a personal journal. As you go, capture and review the key actions you take, how your husband reacts, what works well, and what you are learning.
- Consider giving a gift journal! Secretly buy a gift journal, record your thoughts and words of affirmation each day (element #2 of the Challenge) and present it to your husband as a very special present once the Challenge is over.
- Find out your Kindness Quotient. Before you start, find out your Kindness Quotient and a few key things you need to work on, via this brief online assessment.
- Get the book! Kindness is a superpower; learn how to wield it well. Go deeper, and find your most damaging blind spots and most important strengths in The Kindness Challenge by Shaunti Feldhahn.
Ready to start? Look for the Day 1 email tomorrow. And thanks for joining us in this journey to improve our marriages—and ourselves.
The 30-Day Kindness Challenge is brought to you via our partnership with Shaunti Feldhahn, and is based on her research for The Kindness Challenge.
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