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Day 4: Counter-intuitive compliments
What is one thing your person probably likes about themselves – but perhaps thinks that you don't? (Their strong opinions, which you see as being uncompromising; their ability to go with the flow, which you see as never being on time; their interest in politics, which you wish they would keep at home ...)
Today, compliment them in the area they think you dislike. ("I saw how you were persistent in defending our department's advertising budget; thanks for doing that. ") Bonus points if you can do it in print (a note, an email...) so they can look back on it just to be sure you did indeed say that!
Coach's Corner: Even in positive relationships, people sometimes have defenses up about those areas where they know someone disapproves. And in a challenging relationship, the walls are even higher. The research found that when you demonstrate kindness especially in those particular areas where they expect disapproval it melts through those walls. (In other words: Kindness is a superpower! See Chapter 2 for the other superpowers kindness gives you.)
Coach's Check-In: How are you doing at tackling each of the three Challenge elements each day? Remember the daily hint is not the complete challenge, but simply a helpful suggestion for one of the three elements — saying nothing negative, speaking words of praise and doing an act of generosity each day.
The 30-Day Kindness Challenge is brought to you via our partnership with Shaunti Feldhahn, and is based on her research for The Kindness Challenge.
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