Day 5 of The Kindness Challenge

Day 5 - She worries: listen and offer to pray for her

As verbal processors, most women tend to think things through by talking them through — which means a husband will hear a lot of her worry thoughts.

There is bound to be something she mentions today — or has mentioned recently — that you can ask her about during your 15-minute conversation/listening time.

When she brings up that worry, ask how she's feeling about it so she gets a chance to talk it through. Then ask her if you can pray with or for her about it. (If you aren't comfortable praying together out loud, tell her you will pray for her today, and then tell her that you did.)

Coach's corner:

Has she mentioned something you've done so far in the Challenge? Even if she hasn't, persevere! She may simply be too busy, or perhaps she's withdrawn if your relationship is rocky. Remember: this 30 days isn't about recognition. It is about changing your marriage, by changing your own attitude as you focus on the positives.

Many well-known marriage researchers, including John Gottman and Brad Wilcox, as well as Shaunti Feldhahn's research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages have concluded that "one key predictor of whether a couple is happy is whether one spouse regularly performs small gestures or marital kindness and generosity for the other."

If you are writing in a secret gift journal for your wife, include a note to her today about how glad you are that you said "I do" ... and that you "still do" very much.

Which type of generosity is both easiest for you and most impactful for your wife?

Look at the eight types of generosity in Chapter 8. See if you can spot some actions that your wife would especially respond to - then be sure to include some of them during the 30-Day Kindness Challenge.