Welcome to the 30 Day Kindness Challenge!

The 30-Day Kindness Challenge starts tomorrow! All other daily emails are very short. This one, however, will share a few reminders and tips.

What you will do during the Challenge.

For 30 days:

1. Don't be distracted and don't withdraw. Give your wife your full attention for at least 15 minutes each day and, when you are upset, stay in the game for at least five minutes past when you want to escape.

(Note: this is the Alternative Element #1, which research found was especially effective for many men. The standard Element #1 is: "Do not say anything negative about your wife; either to her or about her to anyone else."

1. Every day, find one thing that you sincerely enjoy or appreciate about your wife and tell her. ("I really appreciate your encouragement while I'm working toward this new certification at work. Thanks for believing in me and not complaining about the long hours.")

1. Every day, do one small act of kindness or generosity for her. Offer a neck rub at the end of the day. Do one of the chores that she usually does, or give her extra girl time or salon time, something special to her during the week. (Even though you need some of that special time too!)

Whether you keep the Challenge a secret, or tell your wife about it, the investment you are making will pay off.

About the emails

Each day you will receive an email with optional daily hints and tips. Customize for your situation, or come up with something totally different.

Remember: the daily tips are just ideas, so don't get stuck on them! The Challenge is to do the three elements of kindness each day, whether or not you do the specific hint of the day.

5 Success Strategies

• Learn how your wife responds over time. As you work on the Challenge, observe her response over time. What did she say when you did a particular thing? What worked? What didn't? You may be surprised that some little things make a bigger difference than you expected. Record your observations and see if you discover patterns.

• Consider giving a gift journal! Secretly buy a gift journal (today if you can!), record your thoughts and words of affirmation each day (element #2 of the Challenge) and present it to your wife as a very special present once the Challenge is over. (Hint: bookstores or the stationary aisle at stores like Target have pretty notebooks women love.)

• Get the book. Kindness is a superpower; learn how to wield it well. Make sure you know your most important strengths and biggest blind spots, so you start strong right out of the gate. Scan The Kindness Challenge by Shaunti Feldhahn.

• Find out your Kindness Quotient. Before you start, find out your Kindness Quotient and a few things to work on, via this brief online assessment.

• Get a buddy to join you. As with a fitness program, you’ll do better if you have others to keep you going. Especially when you hit bumps in the road. ("It's been a week and she hasn't even noticed I'm doing anything different!") See our FREE group resources here.

Ready to start? Look for the Day 1 email tomorrow. And thanks for joining us in this journey to improve our marriages—and ourselves.