Day 9 of the Kindness Challenge

Is there something you wish your husband would do, but "If I have to tell him, it doesn't count?" Or do you find yourself ever thinking, "If he really loved me he should know to do such-and-such?"

If your husband is like the vast majority of men from our surveys, he wants to meet your needs and make you happy – it's just that sometimes he finds it difficult to meet certain expectations.

Our ability to identify when we're holding on to an expectation that is unrealistic is vital. So, spend a few moments today and think of a few expectations that you have for your husband that cause conflict and likely leave you disappointed and him angry.

Then, pick just one of those expectations that you realize might be unrealistic (even if it seems to you that it should be easy!) and decide to let it go. Tell your husband you know he wants to make you happy, and apologize for any ways you've made him feel like a failure without intending to because of this unrealistic expectation. Then tell him you are letting it go and in your own personal notebook write down ways you can make that happen.

Coach's Corner:

We all have kindness blind spots - places where we don't even realize that we are being unkind. When we hold on to unrealistic expectations, our husband feels our criticism and judgment even when we do not speak it. But oh, the difference it makes, when we let them go! On our survey, one reason the happiest couples were so happy was that they were 12 times more likely to say they don't allow themselves to hold on to unrealistic expectations.

Do you know your Praise Profile? If you haven't already taken this quick assessment, do it now and find out!